Monday, February 18, 2013

Feelings Part II

Sometimes, life makes the jokes for you.

Sometimes, it’s your boss.

Let’s start with my boss. 

As I worked on my V-Day post while at my part-time job, I shared stories of past failures with my boss.   Being familiar with my capabilities, she suggested I get Tammi a bereavement card.  You know, “I am sorry you’re married to Craig.”  Genius! I couldn't have agreed more.

So after work, I took the boys to the grocery store.

There were the typical guys standing in front of the V-Day cards with blank looks on their faces.  We walked right past those losers and straight to the sympathy cards.  I found a perfect one, “Thinking of you during this time of stress.”  I signed the card with all of the seriousness I could muster.

“I am sorry for you loss.  You could have done better, but I’m glad you didn't.”

As we walked back past the actual Valentine’s Day cards, I told Glenn to pick out any red card.  Like his father, he stared for about 30 seconds before grabbing a card.  It had a cartoon character on the front, and I was certain it would be perfect. 

Once I had gotten about five feet away, I decided that, based on past failures, I should actually read the card.  It had adult humor, and I don’t remember exactly what it said.  It went something, something, something, you have a nice ass.

“Glenn, we can’t get this card for your mother.”

“Dad, I waaant to get that card.”

“Well, when you learn to read, then you can get this card if you want. Until then, we need to pick out another card.  Take it from your father — ALWAYS read the card first.”

Upon seeing us return, the other guys all had a questioning look on our faces.  Seriously, how long are they going to stare at the same cards?  They all say the same thing…Feelings.  Starting from left to right, humor feelings, heartfelt feelings, unique feelings, feelings from kids, feelings from parents, more humorous feelings, and some deep thoughts feelings.

I explained the joke, and everyone had a good laugh.

If I didn't say it well enough on Thursday (Hell, we all know that I didn’t) Love ya baby, hope you have fun in Vegas!

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